Can you guess who said this?

“After I shower, I don’t use a towel – I air-dry. So that’s like ten minutes. I walk around while I dry. While I’m still damp, I spray some I Am King on me so it can seep into my pores.”

For those of you who said Kevin Rudd, you’d be wrong.

It was the rapper-turned fashionista-turned reality TV star-turned perfumer, Sean “Diddy” Combs.

I gotta say, reading his interview was kind of like driving past a car accident – you know you’re not going to like what you see, but something compels you to look anyway.

And let me tell you, it was full of absolute corkers.

Like, when asked about why he called his fragrance I Am King, The Didster said, “People are saying that it’s arrogant, that it’s about myself; no – it’s how I feel about all men. If you treat and respect yourself as a king, you’re more apt to respect others.”

Right. And if treating yourself like a king means spending more time on your appearance than a barista does with coffee, he is worthy of a crown and thrown.

Seriously, I’ve never heard of a more high-maintenance man.

“I do not look good without a haircut. I don’t feel as confident; I don’t get as many compliments,” he says modestly. “I get a cut, like, three times a week.”

And then he goes on to say, “I’ve been waxed before, but it’s more shaving. I shave and groom my private areas. It’s a better presentation for me.”

“My guilty pleasure is foot massages. That’s right up there with sex. I get them maybe once a week. And I’m actually building a spa in one of my homes right now.” Oh, just one of your homes, Diddy?

And he expects his woman to be just as concerned about her appearance.

“My girl has to have her legs waxed, Brazilian wax, nails. A pretty manicure or pedicure really attracts me. And I like when a woman gets her brows threaded.”

If you’re wondering where Mrs Diddy will get the time to do all this, don’t. She’ll have time given it takes Diddy an hour and fifteen minutes to get ready!

Must be all that air-drying he has to do…

Love, Spicy